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Gertrude Baines, who lived to be the world's oldest person on a steady diet of crispy bacon, fried chicken and ice cream, died Friday at a nursing home. She was 115.

I AM NOW GOING ON THE CRISPY TOFU, FRIED PICKLES, AND CHOCOLATE-MINT ICE CREAM DIET AND WILL BE LIVING 115 YEARS.

That is all.

Oh wait, one more thing. I just opened up a cupboard in my kitchen and found a half-full bottle of grey goose vodka. And I got way more excited than is probably considered normal. Do not worry, I will not down said half-bottle of grey goose vodka, but I might just myself a vodka martini with the kajillion martini olives I bought (for sandwiches, not potent potables).

THAT IS REALLY ALL, FOR SHIZ NIT.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
houses7177
Sep. 12th, 2009 12:56 pm (UTC)
Mmm, martini olives. They're the best part of martinis, IMHO, though I'm a gin person, not a vodka one.
yesididit
Sep. 12th, 2009 03:23 pm (UTC)
i KNEW bacon had to be good for me!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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