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I was reading an article about a local fire. A neighbor was interviewed for the story and had this to say about garden hoses.

"Even if I had found a hose, I wouldn't know what to do with it"

And that is because "being as she has a gardener, she had no idea where the gardening equipment was kept."

Gardeners often keep hoses in secret hiding places. In order to secure a future full of paid mowers, gardeners keep the knowledge of how to use a garden hose to themselves. Damn you gardeners, damn you.


There was a story about a man who may have discovered a rare, new species of pig. He promptly killed the first three he saw so their DNA could be studied. 

Humans are amazing. I mean it.


In more important news, I watched one of our chickens attempt a stealth attack on a ground squirrel. She snuck up and furiously pecked the mammal's bushy tail. The squirrel was unconcerned. The chicken changed tactics to an all out blitzkrieg, sending squirrel hair flying. Yet the squirrel did not move. Our hen tried a new tactic. She walked two feet away, scratched in the dirt, pecked at some food and then ran full force, flung herself in the air and divebombed the squirrel. Finally, because of the annoyance factor, the squirrel strolled slowly out of the poultry enclosure. Chickie-pie was uber-pleased with herself, and promptly took a dust-bath where the squirrel had been rooting about.

Chickens rule. 



( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 8th, 2007 05:30 am (UTC)
ugh, that pig thing is just...so descriptive of how humans are, eh?

chickens are the best indeed. so's your icon.
Nov. 9th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)
Humans rule at teh stoopid.

At the sanctuary, we have nearly 200 chickens. It's like high school but fun and interesting. :)

I never use uncool icons. Never. Seriously.
Nov. 8th, 2007 07:34 am (UTC)
On hoses: yes, I myself sometimes find the turney knob on the hose faucet difficult to use. Never did memorize that whole 'lefty loosey' rule.

On pigs: modern laboratory techniques require an entire animal for DNA analysis. The blenders required are enormous.

On chickens: what confusing birds. Mine can't figure out how to walk around the coop door to get into their enclosure, and yet were bright enough to hide a communal nest of eight eggs from me.
Nov. 9th, 2007 02:50 am (UTC)
Hoses were invented to befuddle the masses.

I KNEW there was a reason for killing the pigs! I have a much smaller food processor they might consider.

Chickens are geniuses, really.
Nov. 8th, 2007 12:40 pm (UTC)
Chickens do indeed rule.
Nov. 9th, 2007 02:50 am (UTC)
Nov. 8th, 2007 02:18 pm (UTC)
Hrm. Maybe someday I will be able to have chickens. Since I have indoor cats (BECAUSE DEER WILL ATTACK THEM IF I LET THEM OUT!!!) they might be handy for keeping ground squirrels away.
Nov. 9th, 2007 02:51 am (UTC)
Chickens are also awesome bug catchers and their manure is good fertilizer. Chickens are also anti-deer and anti-squirrel deterrents. One chicken alone can take on an entire herd of deer or a whole family of squirrels.
Nov. 9th, 2007 03:45 am (UTC)
Hrm. Perhaps I could build an outdoor enclosure for cats, and surround it with an enclosure for chickens to keep the cats safe.

I have no idea what I would do with chickens. I know I couldn't eat them, because once I've fed something a good meal I find it impossible to wring its neck (with the possible exception of this one ex-boyfriend of mine). And taking the eggs away would probably upset the chickens, and I wouldn't want to upset them.

I could always just have pet chickens. Lord knows my grandmother did, which is How I Learned To Fear The Rooster.
Nov. 8th, 2007 04:53 pm (UTC)
the pig thing is horrid! they dont kill babys daddies when they need dna samples to figure out who the real daddy. sometimes i really hate people.

the hose thing, i havent met a little kid yet who couldnt figure out how to turn on the hose in the heat of summer.

i'd have loved to see the chicken dive bomb the squirrel! thats awesome. (i'm on puppys side that squirrels are evil)
Nov. 9th, 2007 02:53 am (UTC)
I hear ya - it was so sad seeing the photo of the dead pigs. People baffle me.

Apparently, once little children reach the age of the woman interviewed, they lose their ability to use hoses.

It was utterly fascinating and amusing watching the chicken. She reminded me a little of a child who tries to annoy their sibling by poking them and when that doesn't elicit a response, by punching them. :)
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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