Me: Hapless canine guardian.
Mina: Patchy-eyed pit bull of doom. Likes include rolling in the grass, sniffing blades of grass for ten minutes, and eating her sister. Dislikes include loose dogs of doom, her sister's teeth and sitting for food.
Celeste: Blue-eyed muttskie of doom. Likes include everything. Dislikes include nothing.
Doofy Golden Retriever: see name
Mina: OH. MY. GOD. INTRUDER ALERT. THERE IS A VERY LARGE, FREAKISH, HAIRY BEAST APPROACHING SUPER DUPER FAST. FREAK DOG ALERT!!!!
Celeste: Where?!? Who!?!? Can I eat it?
Doofy Golden Retriever: Haiz guyz!! Letz be best friendz for lifez!
*Doofy Golden Retriever is chased in circles by overzealous pit bull and neurotic muttskie of doom*
*Human promptly falls over, screaming obscenities to no one in particular*
Doofy Golden Retriever: ZOMG! This iz not funerz, guyz!
Celeste: Karate chop-kung fu death charge combo. FORTY POINTS FOR ME!
*looks at me* Cookie?
Doofy Golden Retriever finally runs back to owners. Owners glance over, not really getting the stupidity of letting their dog run loose.
Mina: YEAH! TAKE THAT FREAKISH HAIRY DOG FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL! I win at life.
Celeste: What about me?
Mina: Pshaw, you win at annoying me.
Celeste: Sweet! Cookie time!
*two expectant dogs stare at me*
Me: You guys suck.
Important note: Neither Mina nor Celeste were trying to attack the dog. Mina was doing her super-intense terrier chase bit, while barking obnoxiously at the retriever, which could have easily turned into a fight if the Retriever had been less tolerant. Celeste was barking at no one in particular and not really sure what to do, though she did body slam both Mina and the Golden at least three times.
More important note: Leash your dogs, people.
Previous Mina and Celeste Chronicles
Celeste versus the flirt pole
Hello, I've been murdered by my sister
Oh noes, Dog attack!
This is a true story
The joy of two dogs
When stupid dogs run loose
Lightning Bolts of Destruction
Of Loose Dogs and Scratched Trucks
When Good Dogs go Bad
The Book Incident