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Verizon Wireless and their silly ways

Maybe you've seen the ad for the LG dare phone, maybe you haven't. I'm too lazy to dredge up the youtube link. It features a mop-headed young man deciding to trespass a junkyard where two cropped-eared and chained pit bulls are resting, just so he can touch an lg DARE phone. He touches the phone inches from the snapping maw of one of the dogs.

If Verizon really wanted to be accurate, the dogs would have been anorexic mutts with fleas and stress-induced hair loss. There would, of course, be no LG Dare phone lying atop a rustbucket of a vehicle, that's just silly. I mean, would the owner of a useless yard of junk really leave a $200 phone lying around? Again - silliness. The dogs' chains would have been long enough to reach the fence and the ass of the idiot testosterone-laden boy leaping over it. Said boy would not just leave his sweaty fingerprint on the phone, he'd actually take the phone (Come on, I'm not facing down two hellspawn dogs just to "touch" a phone).

I cannot take the ad seriously. There just does not exist a place with two sleek, healthy pit bulls chained, guarding worthless piles of crap. Nobody leaves their LG Dare phones lying on ugly-ass cars, either. Idiot boys will always exist, of course.

The ad enforces a myth that pit bulls are bred and conditioned to be supreme guard dogs...apparently of phones. I'm clipping my razr to Mina's neck. Only the most insane of unkempt boys will dare to try and touch it. That's because Mina is Queen Bee of Phone Guard Dogs. Boys will have to get through her minion, Celeste of the Sharp Teeth and Leaping Ways, but to touch that phone, ah! pure victory, I'm sure. Well, only if it was an LG DARE phone, maybe.

That is all.


Jul. 17th, 2008 10:11 am (UTC)
i want to know what kind of pit bull owners would allow for their dogs to be portrayed that way on national tv? i mean... seriously i would never ever let someone put valkyrie in that kind of stereotyped commercial! its bad press for the breed. stupid owners.

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