Gertrude Baines, who lived to be the world's oldest person on a steady diet of crispy bacon, fried chicken and ice cream, died Friday at a nursing home. She was 115.
I AM NOW GOING ON THE CRISPY TOFU, FRIED PICKLES, AND CHOCOLATE-MINT ICE CREAM DIET AND WILL BE LIVING 115 YEARS.
That is all.
Oh wait, one more thing. I just opened up a cupboard in my kitchen and found a half-full bottle of grey goose vodka. And I got way more excited than is probably considered normal. Do not worry, I will not down said half-bottle of grey goose vodka, but I might just myself a vodka martini with the kajillion martini olives I bought (for sandwiches, not potent potables).
THAT IS REALLY ALL, FOR SHIZ NIT.
I AM NOW GOING ON THE CRISPY TOFU, FRIED PICKLES, AND CHOCOLATE-MINT ICE CREAM DIET AND WILL BE LIVING 115 YEARS.
That is all.
Oh wait, one more thing. I just opened up a cupboard in my kitchen and found a half-full bottle of grey goose vodka. And I got way more excited than is probably considered normal. Do not worry, I will not down said half-bottle of grey goose vodka, but I might just myself a vodka martini with the kajillion martini olives I bought (for sandwiches, not potent potables).
THAT IS REALLY ALL, FOR SHIZ NIT.
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