Please stop staring at the wall. It's embarrassing not just for you but for Mexican dogs everywhere.
Please stop staring at me when I'm eating. Do I stare at you? No. It's rude. You will never get a treat unless you perfect the Ultimate Act of Begging wherein you stare at me, begging, and then fall asleep sitting up. Please see Mina about this. You will get cookies. Until then, you will get the stink eye.
Please continue making those adorable, happy, grr-grunts whenever I scratch your neck. You are 10 times more likely to receive a cookie, as I am quite fond of chatty, vocalizing dogs. See Mina about this as well. If you can perfect an Aroo-Aroo like Mina, you won't just be The Backup Dog, you'll be Mina 1.5 - not better, of course, but not number 2, 1.5. Good deal, I think.
Also, I love you.
-ME
