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What to do with biting toddlers

Seriously. What SHOULD we do with those nasty, teething, ebil toddlers (no doubt related to pit bulls)?

Kill 'em! Why not? It will prevent future biting and, as we all know, once a toddler bites, s/he is bound to rip out someone's throat and drink their blood as nourishment! Let's just save everyone the trouble and humanely euthanize the toddler now!

"Some" claim that it isn't the toddler, it's how the toddler is raised. Balderdash. Only genetic mutant toddlers have a propensity to bite, and they just cannot help themselves. No amount of "training", "teething alternatives" or "bad baby, no biting!" will curb this nasty and downright lethal behavior. Toddler-rights activists balk at the idea of killing these biters, but safety experts agree: 90% of toddler bites are caused by toddlers. That's a statistic you just can't argue with. For the community, it is best to just kill the little biting buggers now. Or later. But before they turn five.

Or, you can read what this "expert" has to say: http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/living/12295695.htm

Really lengthy response to an easily solved problem - all they had to say was "Take your baby to the local pediatrician and humanely euthanize him - for him, yourselves, and future children in the future of tomorrow."

Ahem. That is all.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 4th, 2005 08:00 pm (UTC)
I feel somehow slighted... but I'm not sure. :)

Aug. 4th, 2005 08:14 pm (UTC)
Re: Hmm!
Oh no, it was not directed at you - I put into the Google search engine "dog bite" and on page whatever, there was not one, but TWO links to a story about toddler biting. I just thought it was funny, so I became snarky. It happens.

I mean if I was going to make a valiant attempt at slighting you, I would make it a tad more obvious (like maybe mention your lj name several times with lots of invectives and such). ;)

Aug. 4th, 2005 08:05 pm (UTC)
LOL. I live in Kansas and I hadn't seen that one. . .

You are so witty and insightful :p
Aug. 4th, 2005 08:16 pm (UTC)
LOL, aww thanks for the compliment. :)

Like i mentioned above, I was actually searching for "dog bites" and ended up with a Q&A on toddler biting. It was just a snark from me waiting to happen! :)
Aug. 5th, 2005 03:23 pm (UTC)
you make me giggle.
such a funny girl you are.
I just love your posts!
Aug. 7th, 2005 03:51 am (UTC)
Woo-hoo, I lurve being funny. Well, mostly I love being funny. I love chocolate more, though. :) (Who doesn't?)
Aug. 7th, 2005 04:24 am (UTC)
I don't?

unless I am pmsing... then I live on chocolate.
So essentially I only like chocolate once a month.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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